highlights from the weekend:

1. getting to sleep, sleep, sleep. oddly, i didn't take a single nap.
2. reading, reading, reading
3. west wing marathon on bravo
4. getting to spend lots of time with ananda & connie
5. the food. oy, the food.
6. collecting $100 for my christmas fund
7. long walks with belle up on bernal
8. shopping fun
9. my beau, who turns holidays i used to hate into tolerable, sometimes even fun, events
10. the weather. i'm still recovering from summer's madness and just loving this winter.

i should not be let out of the house when the following things are happening in conjunction:

1. I have FIVE days off, in a row. I haven't had this much time off since last June. Giddy, I tell you, positively fucking giddy.
2. I just got paid. Let's just say I simply MUST have something I see, like a hat or some lotion, or treats for my friends. I can simply just buy it. It's downright wild.

Honestly, if I am this giddy about 5 days off, I cannot even begin to imagine how sedated I will have to be on the last day of school. They will have to drug me about a week before and not let me up until about a week after school gets out. I keep getting honest-to-god head rushes from the freedom.
happy gobble-gobble.

today in class we're watching stand & deliver. it is PERFECT for my students. they are just quiet and watching, although they do have to write character sketches
also, i ordered enchiladas from one of my student's moms for lunch and they are totally rocking my world. i love fridays.

tonight's dinner:
pumpkin bread with pumpkin icing
shrimp wraps
yogurt

is there anything healthy in ANY of that? no. i'm a vegetarian that doesn't even eat vegetables.

i'm also pained with exhaustion. and it's only wednesday. and i have to work on saturday from 8-1. i wish there was still nap time in middle school.

wow. last night the lovely beau and i had a fabulous time seeing one of the best concerts EVER. shawn colvin, dar williams, mary chapin carpenter and patty griffin. they all just sat on stage and sang acoustically and blew us away. it was like being in a living room with them. i wish you could have seen them with us.
xoxo

It's great that there are all these articles and books and movies out these days about teenagers. They are meant to help those of us far enough away from those years to only remember them as a distant memory in relating to these often foreign blobs of half-child, half-adult. If you believe everything you read, this is some go-getting, trend-setting, heavily medicated generation who is already working on the next new computer language (sk8, or u, for example). They learn about sex from "Friends" and they spend all their time IM'ing and blogging and their big concern is how to get into a good college. Sure, they also fight with their parents about big questions like "what is important in life?", and also the small stuff, like what time their curfew should be.
God, I wish my teenage students could see this life for one single day. I wish they worried about college or had used a computer or had cable TV to learn about sex. I wish they had a parent around to enforce a curfew. I wish they even got to go out- but they are home caring for their younger siblings while their parents are cleaning offices all night. Learn a new computer language? It's enough of a hardship to learn to spell English words- let alone changing them up with fancy symbols. I can't even imagine the chaos that would ensue. I wish they learned about sex from "Friends" instead of the bad knowledge they receive from friends. I wish my 12-year-olds weren't carrying condoms (though at the same time I am relieved to know they are). I wish they didn't know as much as they do about jail, and I also wish they always had enough to eat. I wish they thought college was a possibility for them, not a place for richer people.
I try to impart all of my wishes on them everyday, but it's hard. They would laugh if I told them they were trendsetters (after they asked me what the word meant). Their world is so small that they couldn't even fathom the fact that I was not Mexican. "Not even your mom?" they asked. Not one of my students has a computer at home, and I'm sure very few have cable TV. So where do they fit into this equation about teenagers that is in the media everyday? What will become of THESE teenagers, who are not thinking about college, but rather are thrilled to get a "C" on their report cards? The bigger question is why are they not addressed in the media? When will someone make a movie about their lives? It's difficult for me to take this media as serious when it's so far away from my day-to-day reality. It's not that I don't believe there ARE teenagers like the ones described, it's just that I wish there was a little broader view of the generation that also portrayed the other end of the spectrum. Already these people are being ignored by the world they live in, and do not see themselves in representation anywhere around them. They are already invisible to the world, and I can guarantee they already know it.

apparently the seat for the world's oldest person just became vacant. the 114-year old just died. what is odd about this? i swear to god, this is the THIRD TIME in the last month i have seen this exact headline- "world's oldest person dies". it seems that once given the title, they don't last long. i'm beginning to think either the title is cursed or somebody down in the 113's has a little plot going on.

ummm, i never really wanted to be a teacher. i HATE when that happens.

I sent this email out.... perhaps bloggers would like the opportunity to give as well!

Hello Friends,

The holiday season is fast approaching and I'm sure many of you are
aware of the strain this puts on families that do not have much extra
money.  
As most of you know, this is the demographic I am working with and my
students' families certainly struggle around this time of year.
I am asking for your help, ONLY IF YOU ARE SO INCLINED, to help me make
this holiday season less of a burden for these families.  I am trying
to collect either money or gifts to ensure these families can enjoy the
holiday season.  I can take ANYTHING- because certainly if gifts are
not age-appropriate for my students (who are 11-15), they have siblings
of all ages who can enjoy them.  If you do decide to donate money, I
will either buy them gift certificates for food, or to places such as
Target or Old Navy.  Also, school supplies are ALWAYS a wonderful gift,
as even things as minor as notebooks and pencils and paper and books
can be burdensome for these families.
Also, if you are inclined to pass this along to any of your friends who
you believe may be interested in helping, please do so.  What may not
seem like much to you is a lot to the majority of my students.  Please
let me know if you are able and I can coordinate with you.
I sincerely appreciate any help!  Best holiday wishes to all of you as
well.

Love,
Nicole

today my entire class got suspended.
oh, and i cannot take the mainstream language arts job. i cried a lot and then drank some wine.

i hate today.

this week's children round-up (might as well get it out of the way):

one student in trouble with the police for stealing his dad's car and racing it (he's 12).
one student reported to child protective services because his stepmother beats him with a broom and a wire hanger.
one student who was asked numerous times to please take the electrical cord out of his mouth.
eleven (out of twelve) students who flunked a test i gave them even though the answers were WRITTEN ON POSTERS HANGING IN THE ROOM.

reasons to get out of bed: i think they are moving me out of special ed to teach regular language arts. i couldn't be happier. no more pulling cords out of student's mouths. how lucky am i???

a pic of me and the lovely beau. i look very fangy, but at least it's a picture.

friday night: slept 10 hours
saturday night: slept 12 hours
sunday day: took 1 hour nap
sunday night: i'm not tired at all! but i have to get up at 5:45 a.m., so i have to fall asleep. i hate sunday nights.

Things I Love Today:

The crisp autumn air
The fact that I have enough money in my bank account to go buy a hat
That any minute now we're heading out of town to relax
Watching the Belle sleep and twitch her legs as she dreams about running

Things I Hate Today:

How the crisp autumn air makes my skin feel like it's going to fall off
The fact that I still really need mittens, a coat, a cd player for my car, two overdue wedding gifts, and to pay the thousands of dollars I owe back
The fact that even though we've been up since 8 a.m., we still can't get out of town because apparently we are not very bright or organized people
The fact that the Belle ate the bathmat AGAIN this morning